I knew it's bad when I start blogging.
I used to blog cause no one to talk to.
I used to blog cause no one to share my sadness.
I used to blog to spare my time.
I used to blog to tell my voices from the heart.
I'm sad. I'm real sad.
Though I'm promoted to a higher level in my job, but I still feel sad.
I like my job? I'm doubt of it.
I like my promotion? I don't feel happy bout it.
All I felt was guilty and sadness.
I paid attention to my job, I seems to be avoidance to my love one.
I paid attention to my love one, I seems to be lay back in my job.
The biggest sadness is I can't plan on my love one birthday.
I don't have the time to buy gift. I don't have the time to plan for his birthday.
I don't like all these happen to me.. But.. how?
I want to resign from my job, but what I will work for in future?
I want a break to get away from my job, but when I can have it?
I'm so sick of myself!
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Blog Again?
It has been some time I did not log in for blogging. I'm thinking to blog again but I prefer abother way of noting down my life in book (diary).
The feeling is complicated as I would like to publish my words in the internet but on the other hand, I got some other idea of writting down them in a book and attach with photo.
I has too many things to think about and to do. I need a change in my life and I just doesn't know when and how to do it. I'm just feeling lost.
There has been time I'm unhappy with myself. No one knew it and no one understand it. I got everything and why am I still unhappy about?
I'm thinking that my current job doesn't fit me. I felt that I just feel ashame of myself that I know nothing bout my job. I know what am I doing but it seems like I don't qualify to be there. All these while, I never have such thought that I'm not qualify to be a senior until I was given a chance to lead a team of people.
Another thing that pressuring me is my love life. Seeing my friends getting married is not a good thing to me. I envy that they are getting marry. I'm in a relationship for two years and I feel that it's time to move on to another stage. But, this is not an issue of myself only, it involve both party. I really don't have a clue bout his marriage intention.
I need to do something to regain my self esteem, but how?
The feeling is complicated as I would like to publish my words in the internet but on the other hand, I got some other idea of writting down them in a book and attach with photo.
I has too many things to think about and to do. I need a change in my life and I just doesn't know when and how to do it. I'm just feeling lost.
There has been time I'm unhappy with myself. No one knew it and no one understand it. I got everything and why am I still unhappy about?
I'm thinking that my current job doesn't fit me. I felt that I just feel ashame of myself that I know nothing bout my job. I know what am I doing but it seems like I don't qualify to be there. All these while, I never have such thought that I'm not qualify to be a senior until I was given a chance to lead a team of people.
Another thing that pressuring me is my love life. Seeing my friends getting married is not a good thing to me. I envy that they are getting marry. I'm in a relationship for two years and I feel that it's time to move on to another stage. But, this is not an issue of myself only, it involve both party. I really don't have a clue bout his marriage intention.
I need to do something to regain my self esteem, but how?
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