I'm sad. Since I gained weight, I am not happy at all. I had lost self confident. I felt that people doesn't like me cause I don't have pretty appearance and I don't have the skinny type of body.
I am too sad to show my unhappiness to others. Maybe this is what I had trained myself to hide my unhappiness in front of people. I not sure whether I am truly happy when the time I am with my colleague on job. I seems to laugh a lot and sometimes joke with them too. The question comes again, am I truly happy? And again, I'm not certain with my answer.
I not sure if this become the problem in my relationship. Since I back from Cambodia, I felt something that make me feel uneasy. When I am away to Cambodia, my bf seems to be free to have his own activities with friends. When I am back to Malaysia, he seems like pretty busy with work. I am not suspecting him, but I just felt uneasy. I understand that the timing problem in between us long ago, but sometimes I just couldn't take it. I'm fine if both of us are busy with work. I also don't mind if he has outing with friend while I'm busy as I don't need to worry he is bored. I also being understanding when he is busy while I'm pretty free at home.
Actually, there is much more to sad about. I not sure how far he can go with me. When he was away to Romania, I could stay up late to wait for him online. I could even wake up early just to catch a chat with him. Though my hard work has failed but at least I did it.
When I was away to Cambodia, we were only 1 hour difference. I knew he will sleep early around 11pm to 12am. I tried my best to catch some chat with him but most of them I failed to appear online before he sleep. In my thought, why he couldn't do the same like what I had did for him? Then I think again, he is tired with his work. I am trying to be understanding but when I think again, am I not being tired in my work?
I understand that in a relationship, we are not suppose to compare who has given more and who has given less. I don't mind being the one who is always giving. All I want is his notification on my doing. I just want him to know how far I willing to give.
I am too sad to show my unhappiness to others. Maybe this is what I had trained myself to hide my unhappiness in front of people. I not sure whether I am truly happy when the time I am with my colleague on job. I seems to laugh a lot and sometimes joke with them too. The question comes again, am I truly happy? And again, I'm not certain with my answer.
I not sure if this become the problem in my relationship. Since I back from Cambodia, I felt something that make me feel uneasy. When I am away to Cambodia, my bf seems to be free to have his own activities with friends. When I am back to Malaysia, he seems like pretty busy with work. I am not suspecting him, but I just felt uneasy. I understand that the timing problem in between us long ago, but sometimes I just couldn't take it. I'm fine if both of us are busy with work. I also don't mind if he has outing with friend while I'm busy as I don't need to worry he is bored. I also being understanding when he is busy while I'm pretty free at home.
Actually, there is much more to sad about. I not sure how far he can go with me. When he was away to Romania, I could stay up late to wait for him online. I could even wake up early just to catch a chat with him. Though my hard work has failed but at least I did it.
When I was away to Cambodia, we were only 1 hour difference. I knew he will sleep early around 11pm to 12am. I tried my best to catch some chat with him but most of them I failed to appear online before he sleep. In my thought, why he couldn't do the same like what I had did for him? Then I think again, he is tired with his work. I am trying to be understanding but when I think again, am I not being tired in my work?
I understand that in a relationship, we are not suppose to compare who has given more and who has given less. I don't mind being the one who is always giving. All I want is his notification on my doing. I just want him to know how far I willing to give.
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